Cast Your Soul To The Sky
by bury me among the ashes
Summary: Hinata was the only one that was ever able to make Gaara feel, now three years later when he finds out she's dying can he get to her before it's too late?


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor am I affiliated with any of the related characters, nor do I own the song lyrics to Annie by Vanessa Carlton.

Warnings/Notes: Character death, GaaHina

It'd been three years since the chunin exams, three years since he last saw her, and three years since he felt the love she spread onto him like no other ever could. Now he debated whether or not to go and visit her in Konoha. Hinata had been injured on a mission, and because of the damage to her central nervous system after her battle with Neji, word had gotten to him that her heart was failing.

It was a long time ago…. That's what he kept telling himself, it was practically forever ago when that split second came where he felt the foreign warmth creep into his stomach. It was forever ago that she talked to him as if he were a person, with feelings even he tried to will away instead of a monster that could do nothing but live as a menace to society. Still he found himself here as Kazekage sitting alone on the roof of his office building wondering on why he was here, he knew somehow she'd changed his life, and it didn't seem fair to him that she had to die now…. She was so young, only seventeen, and he eighteen debating on whether or not to go to her.

It was true, he realized, that she gave him everything, but he couldn't even be sure she'd remember him, or all that she said to him so very long ago, how could he go and see her now… what would everyone think if he did? After all, he'd changed, and most respected him, but to some he was still a monster, to some jealousy and hate was still what they thought of when hearing his name. He sighed and looked to the sky, the new moon shone just as clearly through the darkened sky as it had that night when he'd found her.

She'd fallen into the river while practicing her Shugohakke Rokujyuu Yonshou and he'd found her struggling with the current. At the time he wanted to kill her, he shuddered at the thought of her blood all over him, he wanted to devoir her. But something inside of him… the Shukaku that had been infused with his body froze over for a second when he saw the glint of fear in her eyes. With his sand he helped her out of the river, but he couldn't even get her completely out of the water before the urge… the lust to have her blood had him on his knees with one hand on either side of his head… screaming. He was losing control, but Hinata didn't know, there was a fear in her eyes the likes of which Gaara had never seen before, and he thought for sure the fragile beauty would faint, but somehow, s he still screamed she pulled herself up onto the river bank. For a long time she sat with the same fear in her eyes, the fear Gaara assumed had her immobilized, but then slowly she crawled over to him, chewing on her lip nervously.

His eyes widened, the Shukaku impatiently stirring within him, was overcome by delight when she reached her fragile hand out to touch him. It nearly took over him without the third eye when his sand didn't stop her from touching him and the comforting sensation of warm skin against skin could be felt for the first time in his life. Gaara's eyes rolled back into his head for a few seconds, but then shockingly the unbearable lust… the overwhelming presence of the Shukaku and it's chakra went away and he sat there on his knees trembling, staring at this timid girl in confusion. She at first reminded him of a rabbit, frightened easily, timid, gentle, but that image seemed to melt away when she spoke to him, for in Gaara's mind she was brave, strong, confident.

"W-w-what's the m-matter?" She asked, and though she stammered, and it annoyed him, Gaara did his best to pay it no mind, figuring this girl must be unusually strong to have chased the Shukaku away, not knowing at the time just how wrong he was.

Gaara didn't answer her, he merely stared, he saw in her eyes she was hurting, but there was no wound. She reminded him so much of Yashamaru, and again the Shukaku stirred within him as the painful memories flooded him mind, he clenched his fists and closed his eyes tightly to try and force them away, but he found he couldn't. And so he took to watching Hinata fidget around where she sat, as if uncomfortable in his presence like everyone else, though she was so different from all of the rest.

"I-I d-d-don't th-th-think it's r-right you k-k-know, that th-they h-h-hurt y-you." She managed to speak up again. Gaara stared at her, not understanding why her voice trembled, he rose to his feet as if to turn away from her and walk away, but her next words stopped him and pulled him back. "Th-they sh-sh-shouldn't t-t-treat you l-like s-s-something s-so ugly, I-I k-k-know how it f-f-feels when n-no one will s-see you. I th-think y-you're b-b-beautiful…." She whispered, still she couldn't bear to meet his apathetic gaze; she wished then she could be like all those horrid people and see him as the monster and not the apathetic. She couldn't stand the nothingness in his eyes… it seemed she couldn't escape it, everyone she looked to it was there. And Naruto, the only one with something in his eyes that made her feel alive… he wouldn't notice her….

"You don't even know me you fool." Gaara spat back. But at the time it was out of anger from his confusion as the warm feeling rose in his stomach for a split second, it was something foreign to him… and he didn't like it at all. He looked around the dark and ordinary forest, he only stayed because Hinata was so different she was so out of the ordinary, she was what he was looking for. The environment didn't seem to suite her, especially not then.

Then he looked up to the sky and saw the moon, it looked just like what he saw in her eyes, it was beautiful, unique, indifferent… it was everything he needed. He looked to Hinata and she saw within him emotion, that was all she needed, and she smiled, the warm feeling stirred within him but didn't come back, he was fighting with himself in deciding if that was a good thing or not as he walked away.

But the last thing she said to him was what he would always remember, that was what would always set her apart from the rest… "Th-th-thank y-you f-f-for l-l-letting m-m s-s-see you G-G-Gaara s-sama, I h-hope y-y-you c-could see m-m too….

He sighed now as he came back to reality and stared up at the haunting moon. He wished now as he did every time this memory came back to him that he hadn't continued to walk away when he knew she was watching him because it was her way of asking him to stay. He rose to his feet when he heard footsteps behind him; he didn't have to turn around to know who it was.

"Kankaru, I'm going off to Konoha." He said over his shoulder.

Kankaru nodded though he knew his brother couldn't see him do so, "We'll manage until you return don't worry." He reassured him with a smile… something he wished his brother would see….

"I won't be long." Was all Gaara cared to say as he darted off through the desert to Konoha, thinking of Hinata when he'd seen her on missions, darting off towards her hell called home. To others she seemed perfectly fine, but Gaara could see right through her, he knew she was still hurting as Yashamaru had been, to this day she lived with the pain. Now he vowed to try and take it away from her before it was too late as he should've done years ago.

_Watched as she flew,_

_Deep within the blew,_

_A day off from the county ICU._

It didn't take him long to get to Konoha, he guessed it was nearly midnight now, for when he entered the hospital, visiting hours were passed over, but the woman behind the desk saw his attire and immediately greeted him without confrontation. "Hello Kazekage sama." She started quite awkwardly, "How may I help you?" She asked.

"I am here to see Hyuga Hinata." Was all Gaara cared to tell her.

The woman's face fell, "She is in critical condition-"

"Are they allowing people to see her?" Gaara interrupted not caring to hear the story she would surely tell.

"Only family." The woman replied meekly.

"Have there been any visitors?" He asked.

The woman shook her head no, "She doesn't have long, it wouldn't do you any good at all to go and see her now Kazekage sama, you have to understand we've done everything we can. The poor girl only has a few hours, it'd do her more harm than good to see-"

Again Gaara interrupted her, now angry, "Don't tell me anything that isn't fact, if I wanted to hear what you had to say I'd have asked you, I wish to see her even if it means all I'll be doing is helping her to die peacefully." He growled, and the few people in the hospital turned to look at each other and whisper things Gaara didn't want to stay and hear.

"Room 112." The secretary whispered having no other choice, Gaara nodded and started back the halls.

_There's nothing you can do,_

_Someone gently says to you,_

_The doctor says that now it won't be long._

Gaara sprinted around to try and find her room, feeling a little less anxious when it came into view, now he stood facing the door, and with shaking hands he reached up to turn the handle, not knowing how bad his old friend would look on the other side. He held his breath as he pushed it opened just a little, then just a little more, until finally it was opened wide enough for him to walk through. The dead silence made him uneasy, and he thought his heart would burst from beating so fast when she slowly turned her head to look at him.

He stared at her, she looked to weak, not like the person he'd met years ago, and still he could tell she was pained, both physically and mentally.

His eyes widened as she opened her mouth to speak his name, "Gaara sama…." Her voice was soft, gentle, like it was carried to his ears on an angel's breath.

_I try and live up to the moment,_

_And I hope that I don't blow it,_

_What is it in me that she hears?_

_Well it's just a song she likes,_

_With her arms around my neck,_

_A dying girl who whispers in my ear…._

Gaara nodded his head slowly and came to sit in the folding chair beside her bed, "Yes Hinata sama, do you remember me?" He asked her softly, and though he spoke in a monotone, Hinata could find the emotion that dwelled deep within him, the emotion that made her feel. Hinata couldn't find the strength to speak, and yet her pleading eyes that fell upon Gaara were enough to let him know what she needed.

He knew then he as he slipped his hand gently and slowly underneath her own that he needed this too, he had for a long time now every time his mind went astray and he was lost in her beautiful face… the poignant part of his memories…. The part he needed the very most.

_Tell me now can you feel it?_

_I've been keeping company with ghosts. _

_She comes to me like a piece of summer._

_She comes to me on the days when I need it most._

"I could never forget you Gaara sama, you were the only one like me… the only one that understood." Hinata whispered before coughing a few times, he watched her, knowing speaking pained her, then his attention drifted away from her face to the beeping monitor as her heart rate slowed even more.

It wasn't fair, he finally had all he needed, the only person that understood him, the only person that ever made him feel, and just like everything else before her, the cruel world was stealing her from him.

_Well summer dies and nothing lasts forever…._

_Elusifyin the way you stand up to your fears._

_Well summer dies and it's just moments we have together._

_I'd give my bones for you to get a few more years._

_For you and I-_

_Oh Annie._

_More to life than trying to survive-_

_Oh Annie!_

"Hinata sama, are you alright?" Gaara asked as Hinata's eyes closed.

Hinata managed a small chuckle that shook every inch of her body because of the spasm it induced, "Just as fine as one can be I suppose." She whispered, but Gaara could tell her voice was thinning and weak, there were no tears coming, but still Gaara felt something inside him constrict. She wasn't stuttering anymore, she was always strong, she always survived, through all the hell and made her life one worth living.

She was stronger in her wasted youth than ever could've dreamed of being and now… even on her death bed he realized that strength had never left her.

_My old friends took,_

_Pictures of my as I held you._

_I try to run but the lonliness brings me to tears. _

_The summer dies and it's just moments we have together. _

_I'd give my bones for you to get a few more years._

_For you I-_

_Oh Annie._

_More to life than trying to survive._

_Oh Annie!_

Gaara watched her uneasily as her heart rate continued to slow, there was barely a pulse but still she was conscious, her will power was amazing, it gave him strength to know she could be so determined herself. But it made him weak inside to know that she wasn't regretting leaving this place, but he knew he wouldn't either, not now….

_Stronger than the hands that hold you,_

_You sing along along to the song on the radio._

_If I drag too much than I am worthless,_

_Just this once, can you please forgive this?_

_And hold on to the days gone by!_

_Tell me now can you feel it?_

_I can't keep all this to myself…._

"I came to tell you Hyuga san, that for all you've done for me, I am indebted to you, you being the only one that ever made me feel. I just felt I needed to tell you that after all these years, though I cannot say I know love… I think you're beautiful.

_She elegant, and she knows it….._

_Years for you and I-_

_Oh Annie._

_More to life than trying to survive._

_Oh Annie!_

_Watch as flew,_

_Deep within the blue,_

_Watch her as she slips away from you…._

Hinata opened her mouth to speak the final time, "Gaara sama, you've been my only friend, your face has been all I needed, I know I told you this when we first talk, but I-I thank you… for seeing me." She whispered and with that her eyes closed and Gaara felt grief for the first time in his life as his stomach nodded, and the soothing sound of Hinata's sweet voice was replaced with the chaotic one of monitors going off. Beeping and ringing, slowly he knelt down beside her, abandoning his chair with his hand still underneath hers and kissed her lips softly, savoring his last moment with her.

"Good bye Hyuga san, I hope even with bearing the Shukaku as my destiny that I can be with you again one day…. My friend… I wish I knew the meaning of love better… maybe I could've had the privledge to call you something more…." With that he left, nothing inside was ever the same… never again did he use the word beautiful, for though his senses were acute and he'd all but let beauty fade from his mind's view, beauty was never the same for him again.

Nothing beautiful to other ever compared to those nights, where as he looked out the window he came to be staring at the moon. Sometimes on night when it was full, for a split second he imagined he was lost, not in the beautiful illuminator of the sky… but instead in Hinata's beautiful eyes. The warm feeling always returned to him then.

_I'll keep fingers always crossed for you…._


End file.
